Chadburn K. Spence

Case Number: XPL0D3MYL1F3
Name: Chadburn K. Spence
Age: 36
Height: 5’11” (in whatever’s left of his Timberlands)
Location: Tick Bite, North Carolina
CHARGED: Improvised fireworks manufacturing using church candles and hair gel.
Marital Status: Divorced but still gets mail at her place
Offspring: 1 stepson who calls him “Mister Loud”
Hobbies: Bench pressing guilt, growling in DMs, writing Yelp threats
Looking for: A forgiving woman with soft eyes and no smoke alarms. Must not ask questions about “the noise in the shed.”

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