BOOKED: Crypt Keeper’s Sidepiece Goes Rogue

Case Number: #BO0BS666
Name: Krystelle Ravyn DeMonique
Age: 38 (but “eternally 29, babe”)
Height: 5’5” barefoot, 5’9” with coffin heels
Location: Slaughter, Louisiana
CHARGED: Arrested after hosting a boudoir shoot in the local cemetery with a Bluetooth speaker blasting Evanescence and a fog machine stolen from Spirit Halloween.
Marital Status: Spiritually bonded to a Scorpio named Kevin, but not like, legally.
Offspring: “My cats are my children” (plus one teen named Xaynthyr she doesn’t talk to anymore).
Hobbies: Moon bathing, pole-dancing on headstones, charging men $40 to see her “haunting hour.”
Looking for: A man who can handle a lil’ death. If you think you can raise the dead… come resurrect this heart, daddy.













