Seraphina “Snake-Eyes” Slithergood shed her final skin June 15th outside her Animal World and Snake Farm booth at the 69th annual Rotary Festival, when a rattlesnake demo turned into an impromptu bonfire.
Locals recall her lecturing on how to train your snake to juggle—just before a horned viper unleash squirmed loose and bit her left ariola sending her into full cardiac arrest.
She’s slithered home to Jesus where a hot-rock will keep her warm for eternity.
Update* – traces of meth and PGA Hunch Punch were found in Slithergood’s bloodstream at time of ariola biting.