
- Case Number: 333HalfEvil
- Name: Colton “Sparky” McPlemons
- Age: 29
- Height: 5’11” but claims 6’3” on dating apps
- Location: Slocomb, Alabama
- Charged: Stalking a Circle K parking lot in a bathrobe yelling “Inferno!” with a Super Soaker full of gasoline.
- Marital Status: Single, but “promised to the flame”
Offspring: None, except for his “flame-spawn,” a goldfish named Sparko - Hobbies: LARP
- Looking for: A ride-or-die sorceress who will share her Netflix account.













