Dear Guardians of the Artist Formerly Known as Wince:
The assignment was simple: “Draw your favorite number.” Instead, what croaked onto my desk was this amphibious autopsy of an American spring peeper toad, sliced in two like like a piece of government cheese, boiling its innards out on the asphalt on i23. In this image, the only numbers I can count are 5 out 100 for this “art assignment”.
Let’s start with the obvious failure: This is not a number, it’s not even close to looking like a number… or a frog. This is more like what happens when your child sniffs too many alcohol-based paint pens.
If I had to critique this art piece as is, I feel it’s a representation of a “frog” that has it’s legs splayed out wider than Stormy Daniels’ famous scene in the award winning adult instructional video, Field of Creams.
For your child to pass 3rd grade art, please have them spend time studying what a number looks like vs an amphibian. And maybe limit their screen time of adult instruction videos to a bare-ass minimum.
Mrs. Pickens, 3rd Grade Art Teacher.
