Case Number: CHKN-4421
Name: Rex “Peace Out” Paducah
Age: 46
Height: 5’10”
Location: Paducah, KY
CHARGED: Subject was taken into custody following multiple civilian complaints at the McCracken County Livestock Exposition. According to sworn witness statements, Paducah engaged in repeated non-standard hand gesturing, specifically the formation of a “V-sign” delivered without interdigit spacing, hereafter referred to by observers as the “raw dogg peace sign.” Subject simultaneously directed these gestures toward live poultry, maintaining prolonged eye contact with chickens in a manner described as “unduly affectionate” and “beyond ordinary agricultural interest.”
Marital Status: Separated. Cohabitation with estranged spouse continues due to unresolved civil proceedings.
Offspring: Two biological minors. Subject additionally claims paternal status over a domesticated rooster identified as “Clarence.” This claim has not been legally verified.
Hobbies: Subject reports primary recreational activities as (1) maintenance of close contact with poultry, both domesticated and exhibition grade, and (2) recurrent demonstration of the aforementioned “raw dogg peace sign” to motorists, retail employees, and members of his religious congregation.
Looking for: During intake interview, subject stated preference for “a woman who respects poultry, acknowledges the symbolic importance of my hand signs, and is comfortable with an unfiltered expression of peace.”
