Irving “Bugman” Bartholomew

A detailed concept art of a bugman character with green and brown tones, featuring insect-like features and armor.

ICD-10: T63.4XXA + X08.8XXA + Y92.22

Well… Cousin Irving “Bugman” Bartholomew finally took his last ride to Jesus on a cloud of bee smoke . He’d imported a swarm of yellow-striped Africanized honeybees—“killer” variety by his own brag—then unloaded two jumbo cans of Saintly Swat from that Dollar Tree sale down on the corner of Main Street and Tittup Ave.

He figured it’d keep ’em sweet. Instead the spray met his smoldering sermon candle and—wham!—he and the hive both rocketed straight to heaven. He managed a startled “I’m yeeted!” before lift-off. I found his half-used can of Saintly Swat under the communion table with the wobbly leg.

Bartholomew’s 4th wife asked for no flowers and instead wants money to be financially independent.

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