Cherry Bomb

A gritty illustration of a woman smoking a cigarette, set against a dark, urban backdrop with a mysterious and contemplative mood.

ICD-10 X08.8XXA, T20.30XA

Under the vigilant care of her geriatric nurse practitioner, Prudence “Cherry Bomb” McGuillicuddy reached her end on July 1st in Monkey’s Eyebrow Kentucky. Despite a regimen of baby aspirin, statin, Olmesartan blood pressure medicine, vape, thc, a couple of ponies of Maker’s Mark and bedtime chamomile tea, she forgot the cardinal rule of flammable cosmetics.

A lit cigarette ignited the volatile solvents in her beloved Divine Shine pomade and induced immediate follicular combustion. Burned hair smell has blanketed Monkey’s Eyebrow ever since that fateful day.

Comfort-only protocols kicked in. We administered oral morphine and recited psalms while the few remaining embers of her life burned out. She had signed a do-not-resuscitate order, though it made no provision for hair emergencies. She leaves behind two bags of potting soil, an Indigo Girl’s Greatest Hits cassette tape and a gently used battery-operated Rabbit from Adam and Eve.

Like the Phoenix and Michael Jackson, may her spirit rise from the embers of her still burning hair extensions. (Like Edna, below- Heather)

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