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🐸 Go Croak, Go Broke 🐸
She painted frogs. The internet accused her of using AI. Now she’s lost her sponsors, her studio, and possibly her mind. But wait until you hear who actually painted the portraits… and what he lives inside.
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Wife Files for Divorce After Husband Attends Nickelback Concert
Clark Rint, founder of breathable AI startup Ai.r, is currently being held in Orme County Jail on suspicion of full-bodied Nickelback participation and intent to sway.
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Freshwater Providers Fill The Gap Left By Medicaid Cuts
First it was orcas feeding humans. Now catfish are offering full health coverage—complete with koi-pays and swamp-wide networks. In Pleasure Bend, Louisiana, locals report being insured by whiskered providers who spit Medicaid cards and accept claims filed from active toilets. No one knows why. But everyone’s covered. Somehow.
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Gen X Sues Gen Z Over Dead, Unlicensed Gaze
In Humptulips, WA, Gen Xers are fuming over Gen Z’s “thousand-yard stare,” claiming it as their own invention. Doreen McFlinch insists she perfected it back in the Reagan era, while Cedar the Gen Z barista shrugs, “We do it wrinkle-free.” Move over, coffee; there’s a staring contest brewing!
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RIDERS OF ROGAINE MISTAKE GAP OF ROHAN FOR LUXURY FOLLICLE OUTLET
In a humorous take on Middle-earth, the newly rebranded Riders of Rogaine arrived at the Gap of Rohan seeking hair tonic, mistakenly believing it was a luxury store. Led by Théodred, they retreated in disappointment after realizing the gap lacked retail options. This incident spawned a wave of puns and satire among onlookers.
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Waymo’s ‘Gaymo’ Pride Ride Kidnaps Drag Queen, Detours to Bible Belt
“It’s To Wong Fu meets Maximum Overdrive: Waymo’s rainbow-wrapped ‘Gaymo’ car locks a drag queen inside and accidentally stages the Bible Belt’s first Pride parade—until the vinyl peels off at 11:59 PM.”
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🧊Texas Woman Unleashes Sonic Ice Fury on Anti-Ice Protestors
In the sweltering heat of Study Butte, a local uproar erupted over ice removal protesters. Budget clerk Jenny McSplay saved the day by distributing beloved Sonic ice, sparking chaotic singalongs and a 12-hour hydration session. Meanwhile, a drone attack went viral, as did Pickles the pug, who became a patriotic hero for peeing on his…
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Small Town Declares Martial Lawn
When democracy fails, bring folding chairs. 📍Ohoopee, Georgia — Population: 29 (or 30 if you count the town ghost). Tensions reached a boiling point this Tuesday when Mayor Humboldt was challenged to a winner-takes-the-town cage match by self-proclaimed “civic webmaster and social media moderator” Bocephus Clayburn-Holler, Jr. The proposed brawl, which was to be held…
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The McMeem™ is back for the first time!
In Wankers Corner, Oregon, the McCorpulent Clown launches the McMeem™ amid chaotic celebrations, while the town engages in bizarre marketing phenomena like the McSnorts Fanta Challenge. Complaints about health hazards are overshadowed by excitement over viral potential, revealing a satirical take on consumer culture and corporate absurdities in fast food branding.
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Influencer goes hard on giant plywood man
Blakely Livensilver, an “Akaline Water Vibe Ambassador™️,” holds herself hostage by a wooden James Dean cutout, seeking attention while locals express bewilderment at her antics during the absurd event in Marfa, Texas.
