Dear caretakers of Thig,
Thig turned in what he claimed was a moose driving a car, though I regret to inform you it looks more like a beige refrigerator designed by Samsung.
Let’s begin with the design felony: the moose’s head is so disproportionately large it could generate its own weather system and finally be able to detect this “climate change” the “scientists” keep saying is happening. The eyes are dots, lifeless, just like how my husband looked as I scooped the last bit of dirt over his eyes a few days ago on a foggy evening. The muzzle looks like a happy face drawn by a customer service rep while getting yelled at. And don’t get me started on the car itself. It looks like a jellybean designed by Elon Musk’s Cybertruck team.
Additional crimes:
- The antlers look like infected polyps on a colon.
- Headlights positioned like nipples that have been left out in the hot sun all day.
- The moose looks like it’s literally given up on life but finally happy ans it’s about to pull a Thelma and Louise yeeting right off the side of a cliff.
I’m not saying Scott shouldn’t express himself. I’m just saying maybe we need to talk about visual hierarchy and grounding objects in space not just floating like a misshapen kid that a dad dropped off at the pool. Even an imaginary moose has feelings.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Pickens, 3rd Grade Art Teacher.
