To the guardians of the emotionally unsupervised child who turned this “mango hen tie” art piece clearly influenced by the furries that have demanded litter boxes in all highschool bathrooms.
I have reviewed your ward’s latest submission. I use the word “submission” purposefully, though I will graciously leave that thread untouched—unlike your child, who left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
At first glance, it appears to be a woman experiencing a revelation, or perhaps an allergic reaction to dignity. On closer inspection, it’s clear this was drawn with one hand and while a Kleenex in the other. The face is locked in a state of ecstatic chaos, like she just merged with Patrick Swayze’s ghost. As for the man in the background, he has the panicked stiffness of someone who just walked in on… something that should be between a person and a browser with Incognito Mode.
The anatomy is best described as “rubbery bones” The linework is frantic, unrepentant, and absolutely reeks of a child who discovered Hen Tie on his granddad’s iPad and decided to remix it. I counted five separate violations of human neck structure and one silent cry for help hidden in the hair strands.
This belongs in the Museum of Misguided Urges, preferably in the “Why We Supervise Screen Time” wing.
Maybe next time, remind your child that storytelling includes restraint. And maybe consider checking the search history.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Pickens, 3rd Grade Art Teacher.
