Forehead and Seven Years Ago

Dear Parents of the child from Cher’s movie, Mask,

This isn’t a forehead, it’s a witness relocation program for follicles. I could land a plane, build a Costco, and still have room for 6 oil refinery on that IMXAXed sized boat ramp. Like this person’s head comes with it’s on theme song by the Pixies.

Sincerely, Mrs. Pickens, 3rd Grade Art Teacher.

A man and a woman in business attire are having a conversation in a modern office setting.

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Thigville: After hours

Must be 7 in dog years to enter ( or 200 to 500 in Greenland Shark Years)

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    Pat Myaz

    Pat Myaz

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    Tammy LeCroix

    Tammy LeCroix

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  • Local Model:

    Misty Muffington

    Misty Muffington

    Misty Muffington (born Mistella Jean Muffington) first took her breaths in the back of a borrowed El Camino during the Possum Trot County Pig Roast of 1977. Legend has it her first cry synced perfectly with a fiddle solo of “Rocky Top,” ensuring her future as a local folk tale wrapped in hosiery.

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Inmate and dating roster

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🍎 Notes From Mrs. Pickens, 3rd Grade Art Teacher

OBITS

Those that have gone on to visit The Jesus.

  • REMEMBERING

    Darla Fangtasy Jean

    Darla Fangtasy Jean

    Darla Fangtasy Jean died Friday on a church mission trip to Panama City Beach. The moment she stepped off the church bus into the noon sun, she erupted like a frog that swallowed dynamite in a Home Depot bucket sloshing with premium gasoline. She had only just renounced her long devotion to vampirism, declaring herself…

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  • REMEMBERING

    Duck Tails

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  • COD:

    REMEMBERING

    Common Sense

    Common Sense

    Common American Sense passed away this week, last seen clutching a Value Meal in the fluorescent glow of a gas station “deli.” Though it once thrived on gardens, neighbors, and paychecks that covered emergencies, Common Sense fell into decline after being force-fed Dollar Menu dinners and told to wait six weeks for an insurance approval…

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Minutes From The Gripevine App

  • WiccaNubber

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    I spend $12,000 a year on cobwebbing and strobe lights. The kids call me “Queen of Scream.” Last year my electric bill was $840 in October alone. If you’re not prepared to go bankrupt, maybe you don’t DESERVE Halloween.
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  • Darren Boodad

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    My yard has 72 animatronics, 9 fog machines, and a blood fountain synced to the Stranger Things soundtrack. If your toddler cries that’s YOUR fault for not teaching courage. This is AMERICA and I will exercise my right to traumatize.
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  • Dale from Dale’s Shop

    "

    Why does everybody decorate a month early??? I drove home from Dollar General and thought the rapture hit cause every lawn got ghosts and skeletons already. ITS SEPTEMBER. Can’t yall let Labor Day COOL OFF before u summon demons???
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