Dear guardians of the zygote known as Thig:
Today’s assignment was to draw an eye. Now, I half expected Thig to hand in the letter “i,” given his habit of confusing spelling tests with hieroglyphics. Instead, he produced what appears to be a policeman on one knee proposing to…possibly a mailbox, possibly a traffic cone. Hard to say. Bless his confused heart.
As for career prospects, let’s not talk about art. Thig is far better suited for Olympic glass-door collisions, which he has been training for daily during nap hour. This belongs in the museum of mistakes, right between the finger-paint turkey that looks like roadkill and the macaroni portrait of Jesus with mange.
Fun art trivia: Story really is king. If your shapes stumble but the narrative lands, the human brain will forgive the gaps. Even Thig’s confused cop-cartoon whispers a story, which is more than most of his drawings manage.
Sincerely, Mrs. Pickens, 3rd Grade Art Teacher.
