I regret to inform you that Thig’s latest attempt at portraiture has left me questioning both hygiene and intent. What was handed in looks less like a drawing and more like the aftermath of a clogged drain. Imagine a ball of public restroom hair with two startled eyes Sharpied onto it. That is the “face” your child has submitted for grading. Bless their confused heart, but this belongs in the museum of mistakes.
Two supporting offenses worth noting. First, the texture—if we may call it that—resembles lint scraped from a laundromat filter. Second, the mouth is essentially a stray mark, as if Thig sneezed while holding the pen. I gave it an F because anything higher would only encourage future follicle-based disasters.
Lesson for the week: Texture is effective when controlled, not when it looks like the janitor’s mop exploded on the page.
Sincerely, Mrs. Pickens, 3rd Grade Art Teacher.
