Common American Sense passed away this week, last seen clutching a Value Meal in the fluorescent glow of a gas station “deli.”
Though it once thrived on gardens, neighbors, and paychecks that covered emergencies, Common Sense fell into decline after being force-fed Dollar Menu dinners and told to wait six weeks for an insurance approval that never came. Witnesses say it gasped its last breath between the pharmacy aisle of Family Dollar and a Little Debbie rack that doubles as dinner in too many homes.Survivors include Debt, Desperation, and an endless line of paperwork. Preceded in death by Affordable Groceries, Reliable Doctors, and Grandma’s Kitchen.
Funeral services will be held behind the shuttered Winn-Dixie, with refreshments provided by a vending machine. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to cover copays already denied.
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