OK who the HELL put a USB stick in my lil free library??? my grandson thought it was a “mini bible” and now he knows about the dark net. I opened it and it’s just folders labeled “DO NOT OPEN,” “PIX,” and “AMWAY_SECRETS.” we are a CHRISTIAN-BASED cul-de-sac and this kinda tech harassment will not stand. PUT BOOKS IN THERE OR PUT YOURSELF ON A WATCHLIST.

Why is "The Law" telling us not to eat shrimp in ANY MONTH with a LETTER. Guess what honey every month has a letter. who votes these people in their so dum??

Back in my day we got 1 dumdum sucker and a pencil from the dentist and we were THANKFUL. Now kids expect KitKats the size of a Bible and their parents venmo tips. What’s next, health insurance for fun size Snickers?

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brad, please deflate the 12-ft LED santa still chillin’ on your roof. my two-year-old thinks December rebooted and won’t go to daycare till she sees snow. seasonal gas-lighting ≠ Cristmas cheer. santa’s got till friday, then i’m reporting you for rooftop light pollution and unauthorized yuletide.

HEY FOLKS, WHOEVER’S DRONE LANDED IN MY BIRD BATH LAST NIGHT LEFT A BLINKIN’ RED EYE STARIN’ INTO MY BEDROOM, DURIN PILLOW TALK TIME WITH THE OLD LADY. NOW THE RUSSIANS DONE KNOWN WE WAS BUMPIN UGLIES NOW FOR THE WOLRD 2 C!

To the guy who brought a Great Damn dog into the Piggly Wiggly wearing a “therapy” bib: You owe me new potatoes. That beast sneezed on my Yukon Golds IM ON BLOODRPRESSR MEDSIN AND THAT DOG GAVE ME HEART PROBLEM. REPORTED

SOME GENIUS DUMPED A COSTCO‐SIZE BAG OF CHIA SEADS ON MY FRONT YARD, NOW THE GRASS IS SPROUTIN’ FUR POM-POMS AND THE HOA CALLS IT “UNSANCTIONED TOPIARY.” THEY JUST INVOICED ME $300 FOR “FLORA DISORDER.” IF YOUR KID COMES HOME WITH GREEN KNEES OR YOU SPOT A TEEN SNAPCHATTING MY LAWN LIKE IT’S A PET, DM ME THE FOOTAGE—REWARD IS ONE (1) HALF-USED BAG OF KETO CHEESE-PUFFS. LOV america ADN G O D!

DONO'T EAT NO SHRIMP NOMORE. my cousin ate 3 popcorn ones at walmart buffet and now hes speaking in PRAWNOUNS!!!. this is how they get ya.

Cracklin barrel done changed the LOGO. was fine before but now it looks like a SATANIC QR CODE. no wonder the shrimp are mutating.