Loretta Jean “Lolo” Crampton
Details
- Born: March 15
- Age: declined
- Hometown: Woody Creek, Colorado
- Relationsip Status: Remarried to 5th husband
Measurements
- Height: 5’8 (173 cm)
- Weight: Depends if before or after Cracker Barrel
- Breast: 2
- Waist: PHAT
- Hips: ALSO PHAT
- Details Zodiac: I eat Scorpios
- Ethnicity: 23 And Me
- Hair color: Dyed Red
- Eye color: Cataract Green
- Tattoo: A little picture of Bob on inside thigh
- Piercing: Some
Loretta Jean “Lolo” Crampton may have been born under the sign of Pisces, but the woman was pure fire wrapped in an Aqua Net cloud. Crowned Miss Tractor Pull 1973 and later immortalized as in a magazine proudly displayed in the men’s room of Kwick Picks Mini Mart and Gas. Lolo became the first and only local native to appear in Cornbread Confidential, a short-lived adult almanac printed illegally behind the old Winn-Dixie.
At just 19, Lolo stunned locals with her “Double-Sided Spread” — a centerfold feature so ambitious it had to be stapled sideways and came with a legal disclaimer. One side was her front, the other her back, both shot tastefully beside a rusted El Camino and a jacked-up pig named Pastor Ron.
Lolo’s TV career included two background appearances on a syndicated rerun of Hee Haw, one softcore movie called Celestial Taxidermy and an unconfirmed cameo in a VHS instructional called Sensual Canning with Earlene.
