SOME GENIUS DUMPED A COSTCO‐SIZE BAG OF CHIA SEADS ON MY FRONT YARD, NOW THE GRASS IS SPROUTIN’ FUR POM-POMS AND THE HOA CALLS IT “UNSANCTIONED TOPIARY.” THEY JUST INVOICED ME $300 FOR “FLORA DISORDER.” IF YOUR KID COMES HOME WITH GREEN KNEES OR YOU SPOT A TEEN SNAPCHATTING MY LAWN LIKE IT’S A PET, DM ME THE FOOTAGE—REWARD IS ONE (1) HALF-USED BAG OF KETO CHEESE-PUFFS.
KevinButMakeItKarate
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